Manage the Conversations that Matter Most

Uncategorized Jul 08, 2020

Everyday we have hundreds of conversations. This may sound crazy given the high percentage of us who are working from home right now, and yet it’s true. Even when no one else is around we have conversations – with ourselves. The question is what are you telling yourself in that inner dialog?

Are you building yourself up or tearing yourself down? Do you encourage or criticize yourself? Would you tell your best friend or your child the things you are telling yourself? If not, why not? I know that for me it’s very easy to second guess, doubt and assume the worst in my inner conversations. This doesn’t help me, but wow, it’s so easy to do!

Our thoughts about situations determine our actions and our actions impact the results. If our thoughts are negative, we will not take positive action which can lead to failure. If we fail, we tell ourselves “I knew it wouldn’t work” and the cycle continues. When we think positive thoughts, we are more likely to take positive action and have some level of success. This leads to the upward spiral of act, succeed, act, succeed and so on until we reach our goal. Even if we fail, if we have a positive mindset, we see it as a setback not an endpoint.

If we want to reach the goals, we set for ourselves we need to believe we can do it and become our own best cheerleaders. Mastering our inner dialog will help us move forward in the direction we want to go.

Here are 3 tips to improve your conversations with yourself:

  1. Actively Listen: We talk about actively listening when talking to others, so why don’t we do it with our inner dialog? If we tune into our inner dialog we can see if we are building ourselves up or not. It gives us a chance to change our thoughts.
  2. Intervene: If your inner dialog is all about how you screwed this up, or you failed at that, or you aren’t capable, you are tearing down your confidence and your ability to succeed. Stop the conversation like you would if you heard these things being said to the most important person in your world.
  3. Create Positive Affirmations: If you find yourself routinely having the same negative thoughts create a list of positives. Write down things you’ve achieved, compliments you’ve been given, positive feedback you’ve received to help identify your strengths. Create a positive phrase you can tell yourself when you hear the negative comments in your inner dialog. Use them often and intentionally. When you have a task in front of you that is triggering doubt give yourself a pep talk based on your successes.

The pandemic has forced everyone into uncharted territory. Our routines were upended, and we are still looking for some sense of normalcy. All the uncertainty in the world plays out in our minds and can easily derail our progress. Take control of the conversations you have with yourself to start creating a more positive world for yourself. You can, and will, do great things!


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